Garde Manger Practice Pieces

Getting my hands back to work:

If I can find the beauty in an onion, or a radish, or a carrot, then I start to see the beauty in the world.

Finding my Voice

Finding My Voice

I'm finding my voice again. 


   For the last 6 months I haven't been able to hear it. A freak accident in an 18 wheeler last July nearly cost my life, and I've been trapped and suffocating under a blanket of fear ever since.

   I've been paralyzed.

Even the tears would not come.

   At first I was just grateful to be alive. My family and friends surrounded me, and I rested while my physical injuries healed. I put on a grateful face, and I shut down the feelings that threatened to swamp me. As the weeks passed, I healed on the outside, all the while shutting down on the inside. In August I tried to return to driving, and while I tamped down the fear while behind the wheel, when I wasn't driving I could barely breathe. Sleep was hard- the nightmares started then. The screeching and grinding of sheet metal being scraped and torn echoed loud in my ears, and the faintest whiff of smoke made me gag. I made one run out to New jersey and back. 

   My days driving were over. The extra pressure of a bad boss was more than I could handle, and I was defeated. I have never been so overwhelmed. Always before I could take the challenge. I had to. This time I was beaten.

   August turned to September, then October.  I gave up on driving a truck, although I kept applying for jobs. My accident made me unemployable. Each "thanks-but-no thanks" ate away at what was left of my confidence, and I retreated into my head. I decided to go back to my Culinary passion, but could not even get an interview.  Thanksgiving came, and I struggled to be grateful. I finally wrote a little about my accident. I cooked for family I was glad to see. 

   In December I visited my regular doctor. She gave me anti-depressants. She scheduled an MRI for the pain in my wrist. And then she disappeared. Three weeks of calling to get the results. She said she'd arrange some therapy and a follow up with an orthopedist. Weeks have passed again, and still no word. She doesn't return my calls, but I have lost the ability to fight for what I need. I just shut down more.

   New Year's came and went. Getting dressed got harder. I'd gotten season one of a TV show I liked for Christmas. A week passed and I didn't even bother to get dressed. TV and DVDs were my friends, and I barely acknowledged my husband as he watched me sinking. He worried, and I knew it, but I was unable to comfort him. I could not find my voice. I wrapped myself in a blanket and watched _Castle_. Something about it clicked. There was a chink in the wall I'd built, and it hurt. I got the rest of the seasons. I watched, and I found myself laughing. And hurting. I got to season four and I was devastated. I watched The female lead dealing with the same things I was, and instead of being afraid , she confronted. She put in the time with a therapist, and she said the words I couldn't.  I felt ashamed, but I could not find my voice. I've always used my fear to drive me, but now I was paralyzed by it. I watched this character put voice to my heartache. I watched her partner fighting for her, and realized my husband was doing the same. Her pain echoed mine. It resonated.

 I broke.

 I cried.

 Sobbed. 

I watched her partner fight for her, tell her he loved her.
I heard what my husband had been saying for months.

   The tears flood even now, as I write this, because I've finally found a bit of my voice. I'll do the work to heal. I'll find a way to go back to Culinary Arts and be proud of myself for it. I'll get better. I've got something worth fighting for. 

   My hope is that, like the hero of _Castle_, my family will be patient with me. My grief process isn't done yet. In fact, I think it's barely started. There may be rough days ahead... but there will be better days too.

HERE is my VOICE.

My love to my family who stands along side me in my journey, 
and my gratitude to my friends who have reached out.

 Marj



  

This Year

I meant to cross-post this from Facebook on Thanksgiving.

 

This Year

This year has been a roller coaster ride.
Thanksgiving is usually such an easy time
to reflect on all the Blessings in
my life, but this year has been so hard.
Maybe though, it is in my losses that I have seen
just how much I really have.

I have my life. I walked away from an accident
which easily could have killed me.



I watched as my livelihood and my stuff burned.
I watched safely from the road, because a passerby
stopped his vehicle, ran down a long hill,
and pulled me over a barbed wire fence
as my truck exploded. I watched. From the front seat
of a complete stranger's car. I watched.
I watched my tractor-trailer and the surrounding field
burn. I breathed air choked with smoke.
But I breathed.

So my first thanks are to a merciful God,
who apparently thinks I have more to do here.
He brought my truck upright so I could escape,
then put that stranger in the right place.

Which brings me to That Stranger.
Wherever he is tonight, I hope God
Blesses him tonight.
And Always.

I am grateful that when my company left me sitting
in an Emergency Room, I had kind nursing staff
who did their very best for me.

I am very, very grateful for my family.

For Andy- who never gives up on me.
He was willing to drive all night to get me home.
And when I did get home he was there waiting for
me. With open arms.

For Sandee, who went above and beyond to get me home.
Making phone calls, including arranging a flight home.
She tangled with TSA bureaucracy to get information.
She coordinated efforts for getting me alternate
identification, and arranged for a friend to pick me up,
and give me a safe place to sleep before getting me on a plane home.
I am so thankful that you are my sister, and friend.

For that Friend-- Alysia. I will be forever grateful for the safe haven
and overwhelming peace that was your home. In those hours
right after my accident I was dazed and in shock. Thanks so much
for your kindness and hospitality.

For Laura, who reached out to friends
with the news of my accident,and gave me a flood
of well wishes to come home to.
Your heart is so sweet. I am truly grateful
to have you for a sister and a friend.

I can never be grateful enough for the parents
with whom God blessed me.
They have been supportive, and as helpful as
they are able. I felt swamped with love when I got home
and while I might not have seemed glad, I truly was.

For all the friends who left messages of love and support on
Facebook- either on my wall or someone else's
I am grateful. Those messages lifted me up, and got me through
some incredibly dark hours. Thanks so much.

I'm unemployed. But I am so grateful to have the support I
do. I'm thankful that my injuries (thankfully minor) will heal,
and the nightmares will stop someday.

Be blessed, All.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
You are loved.

So it's the Day After (Thanksgiving)

... And that turkey carcass is taking up WAY too much space in your refrigerator. So take it out of the fridge, and trim off any meat you might want for casseroles or sandwiches, then toss that bird in the biggest stock pot you own.  Here is the recipe for POULTRY STOCK.

Poultry Stock 

Turkey carcass, chicken carcass, or parts
Enough water to cover
2 bay leaves
Sprig of fresh parsley
3 or 4 peppercorns
1 medium carrot, sliced
1 medium onion, quartered
2 or 3 cloves (stick into onion for easy retrieval)\

 Cover the turkey with water, and set it on low heat. Add the rest of the ingredients below, and bring to a fast boil. Skim off any scum and fat which rise to the top. Turn down heat and cook at least 3 hours. I cook mine overnight on lowest setting. When done cooking, allow to cool to a safe temperature, then use tongs to remove big bones and remaining skin. Pour the stock through a strainer (and cheesecloth if you have it). Either return the stock to the pan and reduce it to a concentrated form, or pour into containers for freezing. Will last up to six months in the freezer.

With the addition of salt and herbs this stock makes an excellent simple soup. Add a little chicken breast, noodles, or veggies and you have soup that will make you warm and toasty on a winter day.

Kitchen Basics (Stocks)

Stocks

Every rich soup needs a flavorful base. Stock is a clear liquid which adds flavor and depth, and can be the difference between a "good" soup or stew and a "GREAT" soup or stew. They may take a while to prepare, but the resulting stock can be frozen for months, and can be cooked to a highly concentrated form in order to minimize space, and maximize flavor. This recipe is a blend of my favorite versions, and has given me great results, reliably.

Beef Stock

The best beef stock is made with "Beef Soup Bones". A real butcher can hook you up with these, just make sure they include knuckle bones and bones with plenty of marrow. The secret is to roast the bones (along with some stew meat), plus the veggies in a hot oven until well browned. Not scorched. Here is a basic recipe:

 6-10 pounds meaty beef soup bones (with lots of marrow), including some knuckle bones if possible, cut to expose the center marrow, and include at least a couple veal bones if you can, for their gelatin
 1 pound of stew meat (chuck or flank steak) and/or beef scraps, cut into 2-inch chunks
 Olive oil
 2-3 medium onions,  quartered (Do not peel. The peels will help add rich color)
 2-3 large carrots, cut into 1-2 inch segments
 Handful of celery tops, or 1 large celery rib, cut into 1 inch segments
 2-3 cloves of garlic, peeled and crushed
 Handful of parsley, stems and leaves
 2-3 bay leaves
 10 peppercorns
 sprig of fresh thyme

 Preheat oven to 400°F. Rub a little olive oil over the stew meat pieces, carrots, and onions. Place stock bones, stew meat or beef scraps, carrots and onions in a large, shallow roasting pan. Roast in oven for about 45 minutes, turning the bones and meat pieces half-way through the cooking, until nicely browned. If bones begin to char at all during this cooking process, lower the heat. They should brown, not burn.

 When the bones and meat are nicely browned, remove them and the vegetables and place them in a large (12 to 16 quart) stock pot. Place the roasting pan on the stove-top on low heat (will cover 2 burners), pour 1/2 cup to a cup of hot water over the pan and use a metal spatula to scrape up all of the browned bits stuck to the bottom of the pan. Pour the browned bits and water into the stock pot.

 Add celery tops, garlic, parsley, bay leaves, and peppercorns to the stock pot. Fill the stock pot with cold water, to 1 to 2 inches over the top of the bones. Put the heat on high and bring the pot to a low simmer and then reduce the heat to low. If you have a candy or meat thermometer, the temperature of the water should be between 180° and 200°F (boiling is 212°F). The stock should be at a bare simmer, just a bubble or two coming up here and there. (You may need to put the pot on your smallest burner on the lowest temp, or if you are using an oven-safe pot, place it in the oven at 190°F.) Cover the pot loosely and let simmer low and slow for 3-6 hours. Do not stir the stock while cooking. Stirring will mix the fats in with the stock, clouding up the stock.

I stir my stock gently about every 1/2 hour, to prevent sticking.

 As the stock cooks, fat will be released from the bone marrow and stew meat and rise to the top. From time to time check in on the stock and use a large metal spoon to scoop away the fat and any scum that rises to the surface. (Do not put this fat down your kitchen drain by the way. It will solidify and block your pipes. Put it in a bowl or jar to save for cooking or to discard.)

 At the end of cooking time (when you want to end the cooking is up to you, 3 hours minimum, 6 to 8 hours if you can do it) use tongs or a slotted spoon to gently remove the bones and vegetables from the pot (discard them, though if you see a chunk of marrow, taste it, it's delicious). Line another large pot (8-quart) with a fine mesh sieve, covered with a couple layers of cheesecloth if you have it. Pour the stock through the sieve to strain it of remaining solids. Let cool to room temperature then chill in the refrigerator.

I cook my stock on lowest settings overnight. 

One the stock has chilled, any fat remaining will have risen to the top and solidified. The fat forms a protective layer against bacteria while the stock is in the refrigerator. If you plan to freeze the stock however, remove and discard the fat, pour the stock into a jar or plastic container. (You can also remove the fat, and boil the stock down, concentrating it so that it doesn't take as much storage space.) Leave an inch head room from the top of the stock to the top of the jar, so that as the stock freezes and expands, it will not break the containers.

In Winter I cool my stocks in my enclosed front porch, since the temperature is below 30*F.


Since Thanksgiving rapidly approaches... Next up will be Poultry Stock.

Prepping Your Garden

Spring will bring dreams of garden veggies,  of sun-warmed soil, compost, turned over earth ready for seeds and bulbs and small plants, and days lovingly tending a growing garden.

Fall... is the time to plan and prepare.
Some preparation is universal, no matter what you plan to grow, and some is specific depending on what you are planting.

If your garden soil is like mine, a dense clay that packs down hard, then fall is the perfect time to mix in those dropped leaves and lawn clippings. You can also take a soil sample to your local Extension office to have it analyzed for Nitrogen and pH. (Soil test kits are also available at most home improvement stores). Fixing soil isn't very difficult, and can be as simple as mixing in your old coffee grounds.

Fall is also the best time to plan for your garden.

Map out your space. Look up growing requirements for your plants, and spend some time looking at sunlight requirements, growing times, and plant yields. Look at the soil types, and consider adding sand and compost for root veggies, and compost and good topsoil for most others. Consider the varying heights of your plants.

Some plants, like tomatoes and chile peppers, need long, hot growing seasons with regular watering, so consider setting up an indoor area to start your plants, if you live in an area where you have to wait until April to be assured of the last frost being past.

Seeds are far less expensive than bedding plants, so starting your garden that way can make it much more economical.

If you bag yard waste and have it collected, consider a wire bin for some of it instead. Home made compost is much less expensive than buying it.